Every Friday, a weekly farmers’ market is held in my neighborhood. Fresh vegetables, eggs, meat and fish – this is where I buy the grocery for the entire week. But I stopped going to the butcher there. The stand is run by two German mid-aged ladies. Whenever I order something, they look at me, making a grimace on their face as if they cannot possibly understand my German – no matter how clearly I pronounce my orders. Every so often, they handed me back too little change.
Being short-changed is rather a common experience I encounter while living in Germany for the past 20 years. Whenever I point that out, they normally say: “Oh, I made a mistake.” Interestingly, I’ve never received too much change by mistake—only too little. It made me wonder whether unconscious bias might be at play.
I assume what is causing this “mistake” is a stereotype of Asian females being submissive and obedient – an assumption that we don’t complain and raise our voice even when harm is done. While waiting in a queue at a supermarket cashier, for example, people sometimes try to cut the line and sneak in before me.
“You’ve obviously seen me waiting here. You’d better go to the end of the queue,” I reply in such situations. Well, not quite submissive. I refuse to reinforce this stereotype of Asian females. No, I ain’t a submissive Asian female.
What happened as a result? Over the course of 20 years, my character grew tougher, in order not to be taken advantage of.
When I visited Hong Kong last year, it struck me what an armor I had been wearing in Germany to protect myself. In Hong Kong, I did not stand out as a racial minority. I blended into the majority even though I was still a visiting foreigner. No one tried to take advantage of me for appearing different.
According to Wikipedia, Asians in Germany or German citizens of Asian descent make up 2,0 percent of Germany’s total population of some 83 million. Being part of a racial minority group means being confronted with certain stereotypes projected onto race, gender and nationality.
Yet, I have also profited a lot from living and working as a minority, particularly as Japanese. Because of the widespread perception towards Japanese culture being totally “different” and “exotic” I was able to establish my own business as a cross-cultural consultant in Germany. Being different is my strength here. Being a minority can be helpful.
How to find strength while living as a minority?
It’s about balancing healthy self-confidence with the armor we sometimes need to wear. Armor is useful—it helps push back against blanket generalizations. But it’s just as important to take it off now and then, to rest, to breathe, and to simply be.
